✦ lyrics, notes & whatever else is under the skin ✦
Your own private little room for a peeled-back look at the recording and lyrics of "wildcat". Press play and get lost in whatever the hell my process is. ♡₊˚
now playing
more noise coming soon ♡
wildcat
CINNANA
Press play and start snooping.
liner notes
It all started here. My first featured track!
I don't even know where to begin when it comes to peeling back the surface of this song -- it represents so many things to me. Is it the first song I've ever written? By a literal definition, no. I've written dozens of pieces in my adolescence, due to an innate incapability of being honest with my feelings if there are other people in the room. Before, the way I wrote music boiled down to little more than unstructured (or over-structured) vent-y poems that happened to having backing tracks I found on YouTube.
It was actually another one of those solemn, holed up Overwatch custom game nights that I stumbled across this instrumental by the composer and producer moneo. I thought it was beautiful. I quickly found myself leaving the voice channels I was in to give it my full attention. Struck with inspiration from the beautiful composition and the droves of like-minded souls putting their full heart on display in the comment section, I spent the next two hours writing to this piece. Incredibly high. Incredibly emotional. And now, incredibly proud.
At its core, wildcat is a track that is about being in a relationship with someone who waters down your spirit, keeps your light small, and takes it for granted. When I was in this space, it wasn't easy for me to formulate how I felt, to recognize that I was trapped. And after escaping, I had never processed or took the time to work through and unpack everything that came with (and before) that. I believe wildcat was the first time that door truly opened for me, and I'm forever grateful to those who worked on this song with me, those who cheered me on in my doubts for putting it out there, and those that stopped to listen, hear, and relate with me.
Just like you.
the manuscript
I saw the light on the water
He don't know how to love
Take a trip down to Georgia
Pray to gods up above
I still look for the meaning
In an emptier phrase
Strip down to feathers
Tell me this is the place
I swore that we were just like the moon
Alone again I'm still facing you
Hoping to turn us to dust
But there's blood in the basin
And tears on my bedsheets
And I'm still a-wishin' you were somebody
Somebody new
Lifeless in the backseat
We've been driving for years
Don't know the destination
Still guided by fear
You grind on the gas
And I'm holding on
Headlights keep flashing
I'm trying to stay strong but we
Fly
Away
In the next room over
I hear you say
“I don't really love her like that”
Locked me away just so you could say
You tamed that old wildcat
Oh look where I'm ending at
Up in the mountains
Alone in the trees
I'd rather be starving
Than pretend to be “me” with you
I could never be with you
Oh, I'm nothing like you
Never with you
Never with you
I could never, ever be